Now that President Trump is A Clockwork Orange Porn Parody XXXa reality, everyone is trying to figure out who he'll appoint to his cabinet.
Rumors are circulating around Rudy Giuliani, Chris Christie and Steve Bannon, who all helped Trump get elected, but we really won't know until Trump announces them.
SEE ALSO: You don't have to organize today. You can just grieve.Seeing as how Trump has already appointed a climate change skeptic to lead the EPA transition, I have a few predictions for where he'll go with some of the other positions he has yet to appoint.
Prediction:Newt Gingrich wearing a Ring of Power, forged by the elven-smiths of Eregion under the order of Sauron in the Second Age of Middle Earth.
The Secretary of State advises the president on foreign policy and negotiates treaties with foreign powers. Newt Gingrich seems like a shoo-in ever since he found that Ring of Power at the bottom of a lake this summer.
Prediction:Mr. Buck Moneyman
Who better to control the IRS and print money than the man whose family money was named after, Mr. Buck Moneyman? Buck loves money, eats money, drinks gold and lives under a pile of coins in the lowest level of Fort Knox.
Prediction: The angry guy you play pickup basketball with, just kind of shuffling from side to side with his arms spread out, along the nation's border.
This guy neverphones in his defense, no matter how lighthearted the game is, so he should make a good secretary.
Prediction:Rudy Giuliani, but he's gonna wear a full military general uniform because he's confused.
Prediction:A Westworldhorse with its intelligence bumped up to like 6 or 7.
Prediction:A factory chicken who's like, shockingly positive about living in a cage.
Prediction:Every Trump son tied together yelling as loud as they can.
Prediction:Who was that person from the movie Holes, who made them work really hard digging holes? Did that happen in that film? They'll be the Secretary of Labor.
Prediction:My school nurse who once gave me an Advil after I cut myself real bad in shop class.
Prediction:A rat who somehow has a master key to every building in the city.
Prediction:A woman stuck in standstill traffic who needed to pick her sons up from lacrosse practice 20 minutes ago so they could make it to dinner with their grandparents.
Prediction:Julian Assange holding a power strip.
Prediction:A stack of those VHS tapes that teachers put on when they're hungover.
Prediction:The guy from your high school who wore shorts literally every day of the year no matter the temperature.
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