Halloween is Sister in law Who Let Me Use Her Holehands-down one of the best holidays, especially for kids.
The holiday is centered around dressing up, using your imagination and being a little weird. On top of that, there's the best part: unlimited candy.
But if you're planning on passing out candy to hardworking trick-or-treaters this year, please avoid the following at all costs. Your young neighbors will be extremely grateful.
Necco Wafers have been around since 1847, which was probably an excellent candy in the year 1847. They taste like chalk, and anyone who defends these candies is either 150 years old or enjoys licking chalkboards.
Disgusting. Credit: APAP Photo/Charles Krupa Similar to Necco Wafers, Smarties have a distinct chalky texture that should never, ever go inside your mouth unless you're eating Tums.
Ew. Credit: Smarties Unsurprisingly, these pieces of sugar attached to paper are actually made by Necco Wafers. While the candy is passable, it's basically glued to a piece of paper, which is impossible to completely detach.
Mmmm, paper. Credit: AP Do we really need to explain?
Gag. Credit: PR NEWSWIRE See above.
Double gag. Credit: Amazon Bank candy has no place during Halloween.
It's a bank candy prove me wrong. Credit: RNewsFoto/Spangler Candy Company Tootsie roll launched in 1896, when chocolate tasted like literal shit.
Is this even chocolate? Credit: Allsion Carter/Flickr They're like little evil Mike and Ikes, and they do not deserve the title of candy.
This isn't candy. Credit: Ged Carroll/Flickr There's just something awful about imitation banana.
Banana doesn't belong in candy. Credit: Chunkysalsa/Flickr It doesn't matter that Twizzlers are strawberry flavored, they're still licorice and licorice is not candy.
Not even for a straw. Credit: Julia Ewan/TWP CAPTION They may look like drugs but they taste like licorice, and licorice is not candy.
Again, licorice is the worst. Credit: Wikipedia No thanks, Grandma. I'm not losing a tooth today.
The worst kind of mary jane. Credit: maya83/Flickr Milk Duds are the perfect candy if you want to pull caramel out of your teeth for 20 minutes, you sadist.
A dud of a candy. Credit: Mike Mozart, Flickr Candy necklaces only look edible before you start eating them, but as soon as you take one bite, you're wearing a mess of your own saliva. And that first bite wasn't too good, either.
This is so gross. Credit: wikipedia Raisins aren't good, and covering them in chocolate doesn't change a damn thing.
This is kinda evil. Credit: Mark Bonica/Flickr The only reason anyone would give out Werther's on Halloween is because they're 90-years-old and they completely forgot to buy candy so they're just giving crap away from their private stash.
Grandma no! Credit: Leonid Mamchenkov/Flickr Coconut has no place in candy.
?????? Credit: Wikipedia Neither do almonds.
????? Credit: Wikipedia Perfect for breaking a tooth while enjoying the lovely taste of chemical lemon.
Are we at a baseball game in the 1940s? Credit: Randy Heinitz/Flickr It's not the 1950s anymore, can we please give up malted things that aren't alcohol?
Womp womp. Credit: Mike Mozart/Flickr Who likes lodging the stickiest candy on Earth into their teeth? Dots aren't worth the chew, unless you're trying to remove a loose tooth.
Dots are gross. Credit: MediaNews Group via Getty Images This article was originally published in Oct. 2019, and was updated in Oct. 2021.
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