【Bengali Archives】

For years,Bengali Archives queer representation has been sorely lacking in the most venerate genres: made-for-TV Christmas movies.

I personally can't say I ever cared, but for those who do: Congratulations! 2018 has brought you a Christmas miracle in the form of Life-Size 2, a new straight-to-Hulu Christmas movie featuring a bisexual character and Tyra Banks.

It's a gay double whammy. Minor cultural achievement unlocked!

Made-for-TV Christmas movies are a fairly conservative genre, so seeing any queer representation -- and representation of queer women of color -- is mind-blowing. I'm sure some closeted kid out there who loves subscription-based streaming services and made-for-TV Christmas movies will be thrilled to see themselves represented in this unapologetically corny 81 minute film.

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Life-Size 2is the sequel to the 2000 film Life-Size, featuring Lindsay Lohan and Tyra Banks as her human-incarnated doll. The original, which was produced by Disney and premiered on ABC, was also made-for-TV.

The sequel tells the story of Grace Martin (Francia Raisa), a socialite and CEO of a toy manufacturing company, Marathon Toys. As female CEOs go, Martin isn't exactly gracing the cover of Bloomberg Businessweek: she's more likely to "lean into" some bottomless mimosas than corporate leadership.

As Marathon Toys struggles, her largely male and white coworkers plan to discontinue the company's trademark doll of color, Martin's own doll, Eve. (Yes, the racial and gender commentary here is both extremely obvious and extremely welcome). One night, Martin and her daughter cast a spell to help keep the Eve doll line alive.

The next morning, Martin wakes up to find Eve fully realized as a human, played again here by Tyra Banks. At first, Martin thinks that Eve was a drunken hookup she didn't remember, not a doll in human form. Martin then takes Eve to brunch with her friends, one of whom also appears to be queer. They all assume that Eve is Martin's besotted hook-up and are annoyed that she brought a mere "hook-up" lady to brunch.

What makes the scene so remarkable is how boring it is. A same-sex hookup isn't treated as an exotic moment or a special occasion but an incredibly prosaic and routine part of life. It's clear that Martin has fully assimilated as a bisexual or a queer person or a pansexual --whatever label she uses.

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Her identity isn't erased, it's just normalized. It feels safe. And it's something to celebrate, even as it makes me fall asleep at my computer.

To be fair, the movie's queerness begins and ends at about this scene. Martin develops a heterosexual sort-of-love interest at some point during the film. Life-Size 2successfully passes the Bechdel test, though it does so by centering the conversation on dolls and on Christmas. It's not a horse girl movie, but, friends, it comes close.

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Is Life-Size 2good? It depends on your definition of good. There are jokes that didn't make me laugh, but sure made me think about laughing. I was able to look at a joke and understand its intellectual construction. There were plenty of women of color in leading roles. And the movie didn't say anything grotesque and offensive, which, frankly, is a landmark cultural achievement in these here streaming parts.

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Watch or don't watch it -- I don't care. But let's all celebrate this tiny Christmas gift for what it is: a great marketing decision on behalf of Disney.

Next up on my Christmas list: an intersectional feminist democratic socialist non-binary Santa Claus.

Santa, make it happen.