【nifty erotice stories】

Come for the one-liners and nifty erotice storiesrazor-sharp cheekbones, then stay and hope they show up again.

Maleficent: Mistress of Evil, the second chapter in Disney’s revisionist Sleeping Beauty saga, returns star Angelina Jolie to a world where Maleficent is the misunderstood good guy.

Stylish and sardonic, Jolie’s take on the iconic gatecrasher was riveting in 2014 and could have easily carried any number of sequel narratives. So it’s baffling that Disney, knowing what gold they had, decided to bury Jolie’s return performance under a dozen subplots, and sideline Maleficent for much of her own sequel. It’s a choice that makes Mistress of Evil not quite unwatchable, but far from the fantasy we'd been wishing for.

Taking place years after the events of the first film, Mistress of Evil begins by establishing new obstacles for Maleficent and her goddaughter Aurora (Elle Fanning) — among them, Prince Phillip (Harris Dickinson) and the promise of a marriage proposal.

Aurora, all-in on true love’s kiss, would love to marry her charmingly useless boyfriend and forever unite their kingdoms. Maleficent is less keen on the idea. Still, she’s a good sport about it and agrees to have dinner with Phillip’s parents, King John (Robert Lindsay) and Queen Ingrith (Michelle Pfeiffer.)

Unfortunately, the royal figureheads waste no time putting all four of their feet into their mouths, insulting Maleficent and sending her into an excessive-yet-dazzling rage over appetizers.

Soon, the King falls ill, Maleficent is accused of cursing him, Aurora storms off crying, a magical porcupine gets kidnapped, and a war breaks out. Really.

It’s the start of an elaborate (and exhausting) arc that is at once needlessly complicated and impossibly boring.

Following the Meet the Parents snafu, Maleficent goes on a solo journey far away from the central action to uncover her backstory, then a backstory within that backstory — as well as develop feelings for an under-utilized Chiwetel Ejiofor, new to the franchise, who has about twenty lines in the whole movie.

Meanwhile, most of the plot-propelling action is left to Aurora and Phillip. Rather than Maleficent, the aforementioned "Mistress of Evil," these two knuckleheads are forced to contend with biological warfare, class conflict, near genocide, and a handful of other events that are simultaneously way out of their league and a bit too dark for a princess story.

It's not that we don't see Maleficent doing anything during this time;she's just not doing anything all that interesting. Instead, Jolie spends most of the film looking like Maleficent, walking like Maleficent, and staring off into space like Maleficent. Even her relationship with Aurora, painstakingly built over the course of the first film, is reduced to a thin plot point by her disengaged positioning. It's a missed opportunity, made more egregious by the clear passion Jolie has for the role.

Granted, it’s not all bad. Along the way, Diaval (Sam Riley), Maleficent's crow companion from the first film, entertains with zest. A red-headed organ player (Jenn Murray) delivers the performance of a lifetime. Pfeiffer brandishes a crossbow. And the CGI fairies, while too much, are impressive.

When Maleficent is allowed a moment to play, Jolie is as stunning as ever. Through glossy sneers and gritted teeth, her quippy remarks light up the screen, reminding you why you bought a ticket in the first place. At the final face-off, her return is show-stopping.

Far removed from Maleficentand even further removed from the original fairytale, Mistress of Evilcould have done anything it wanted with its unconventional villain. And yet, for some reason, Disney chose to clip her wings — keeping her story from ever taking flight.

Maleficent: Mistress of Evil is in theaters Friday.