【I Wanna Cum Inside Your Mom 22】

LONDON -- Happy holidays one and I Wanna Cum Inside Your Mom 22all. Tis the season for spending time with your lovely but mildly irritating family and distant relatives you haven't seen all year.

They want to hear all your news. Seriously, ALL of your news. You know, your job, your wellbeing, your home, and -- naturally -- your relationship status. Cool.

Via Giphy

Unfortunately, unless you're coupled up and able to call someone your boyfriend or girlfriend, it's pretty tricky to find an answer for those awkward and annoying questions.

You could titter awkwardly or straight-up avoid the question entirely, but here's a thought: how about telling them the unfiltered, unabashed truth?

Here are 12 brutally honest ways to answer questions about your relationship status.

SEE ALSO: Tinder on TV is your new favourite party game

Have you got a partner?

Oh god. The dreaded question. And, it's been asked so soon into the festivities. Do I tell them I've spent the past three months eating sharing bags of crisps in my pjs as I binge-watch Orange Is The New Black?

Option one:I don't know if I can call this guy my partner. But we do have sex once a week and he occasionally likes my Instagrams. Does that still count?

Option two: No one fancies me. So, that's that. Please don't ask me anything else.

Mashable Trend Report Decode what’s viral, what’s next, and what it all means. Sign up for Mashable’s weekly Trend Report newsletter. By clicking Sign Me Up, you confirm you are 16+ and agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. Thanks for signing up!

Via Giphy

Option three:I have several partners, actually. Sexual partners. That's what we're talking about, right?

Option four: No. And I haven't for the past five years. Really, I'm fine with the prospect of dying alone surrounded by 30 very loving cats.

Via Giphy

When are you planning on settling down?

There is nothing more annoying than this question. Settling down is not something that can ever be planned. It either happens or it doesn't.

Option one:Honestly, it's a struggle to keep myself fed and bathed on a regular basis. Once I've nailed that, I'll consider entering more humans into the equation.

Via Giphy

Option two:I just want to keep on having casual sex as long as I possibly can. So, no plans for the foreseeable future. K, cool. Option three: I'm gradually coming to the conclusion that I'm enough on my own. I can't really improve on this level of perfection.

Via Giphy

Option four: I don't like to make plans. I'll leave it up to the universe to decide when or if I settle down.

What happened to the last one?

Great. As if the interrogation wasn't bad enough. They've started trudging up lovers of the past. Hey relatives, here's a tip: if we haven't mentioned them, then something bad probably happened!

Option one: Oh I don't know. He dumped me? Thanks for reminding me.

Via Giphy

Option two:Um, she "borrowed" my iPod and then ghosted me. So that happened.

Option three: She cheated on me with my best friend and I found out on Twitter. I still cry myself to sleep sometimes. I'm OK though, really I am.

Via Giphy

Option four:He never existed. I just made him up so you'd stop asking me all these annoying questions.

---

Featured Video For You

---

Sorry, you're addicted to Tinder

---

• Digital Culture
• Entertainment
• Deals
• Science
• Social Good
• Life
• Games
• Tech

• Gods of War
• Best budget tablet deal: Save £50 on Lenovo Tab M11 tablet
• Best Amazon tablet deal: Save $65 on Fire HD 10 tablet
• OpenAI's Sam Altman had an AMA on Reddit: 5 takeaways about ChatGPT and more
• Best IPL deal: Save $80 on Braun IPL Silk·Expert
• Best Amazon tablet deal: Save $65 on Fire HD 10 tablet
• NYT Strands hints, answers for November 2
• These AI recipe generators will spice up your meals
• New MIT report reveals energy costs of AI tools like ChatGPT
• How AI can help with your grocery list

• Bumble bans fatphobic messages and body shaming
• WallStreetBets' popularity broke Reddit's moderation tools
• 'The Medium' game review: An uneven but engrossing horror mystery
• People are pissed at Robinhood and jumping ship after it blocked Gamestop, AMC buys
• Reddit’s r/WallStreetBets breaks all
• Macklemore's gonna piss off intolerant rugby fans with this song, and he doesn't care
• Taylor Swift gave Cardi B a huge bouquet of flowers after losing Billboard's No. 1 spot
• Meet the McElroys: How podcasting's 'first family' can help you find your voice
• Tech terms you need to know in 2021
• Apple warns MagSafe users with medical implants to keep a safe distance

• A Typical Wall Street Republican
• Al Ittihad vs. Al Ahli 2024 livestream: Watch Saudi Pro League for free
• Wordle today: The answer and hints for November 2
• Today's Hurdle hints and answers for November 1
• What cracked the Milky Way's giant cosmic bone? Scientists think they know.
• Best budget tablet deal: Save £50 on Lenovo Tab M11 tablet
• NYT Connections Sports Edition hints and answers for October 31: Tips to solve Connections #38.
• M4 Mac mini: Why you should get it over the M4 MacBook Pro
• Best vacuum mop combo deal: Save $140 on the Tineco Floor One S5
• Best Apple iPad deal: Save $100 on the 13

• Waitin’ on the Student Debt Jubilee
• Best Apple Pencil deal: Get the Apple Pencil pro for under $100 at Amazon
• Best Dyson deal: Save $210 on Dyson Hot+Cool purifier
• Halloween 2024: Weekend debates, obscure memes, and a legacy of racism
• Operation Mensch
• Arkadium mini crossword answers for November 1
• 25 horror movies perfect for Christmas: streaming guide
• Duke vs. Miami football livestreams: kickoff time, streaming deals, and more
• 'The Last of Us' Season 2, episode 5: The spores are here!
• Arkadium mini crossword answers for November 1