【2000 Archives】

Ever watch something so bad000 Archivesthe internet that you feel secondhand embarrassment? If you're not familiar with that sinking feeling, you will be after watching these videos from Randi Zuckerberg.

Over the past month, Randi Zuckerberg – best known as the sister of Facebook (now Meta) founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg – has been releasing cringy "parody" music videos about cryptocurrency.

Zuckerberg's most recent video is a parody of the '80s hair metal classic "We're Not Gonna Take It" by Twister Sister. In her spin, however, the song is called "We're All Gonna Make It," a play on the acronym WAGMI.

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The acronym is a popular slogan within Web3 communities, basically as a way to build confidence and convince each other that they're going to be successful. (That's some real MLM vibes, huh?) Anyway, Zuckerberg's song is filled with Web3 jargon that's used to get people to invest in various Web3 communities. Here are some lyrics:

It's just the start so gm

Carpe your crypto diem

DYOR and pick a coin

BTD Buy the dip it

Our diamond hands won't flip it

HODL and we'll all join

It looks, sounds, and feels like something you'd see at a LuLaRoe convention to get people hyped about asking their friends if they would like to invest in a new business opportunity.

After listening to that, I know what you're thinking. Please, god, are there more? Well, you're in luck! A few weeks ago Zuckerberg shared another parody of Adele's hit single, "Hello." Watch it here:

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If you tapped out after the first few seconds, here's some of the lyricsfrom the first verse:

Hello, it’s me 

Would you like to learn exchanging cryptocurrency? 

We’ll go over everything 

Cause you’ve got coins from different blockchains and want to do some trading 

Hello, can you hear me? 

A decentralized exchange lets you convert from A to B 

Once you pay the Gas fee 

And no single point of failure means you’ve got security

And if you did make it that far, you probably stuck around for the chorus which kicks off with "Hello, this is DeFi."

Just a few weeks ago, we were all ragging on Heather Morgan, one of the two people allegedly involved in the $3.6 billion Bitfinex heist, for her rapping alter ego, Razzlekhan. After viewing Zuckerberg's music stylings, I think we all need to extend an apology to Razzlekhan.

But the real question here doesn't involve the music or the silly videos. In the big picture of things, they're harmless. Just let people enjoy things. The real question is why is Randi Zuckerberg – again, family of billionaire Mark Zuckerberg – pumping crypto so hard? Zuckerberg in her own right is a former Facebook executive, author of multiple books, and owns a social media firm called Zuckerberg Media. So, what the hell are you doing Randi Zuckerberg?

On her Twitter bio, Zuckerberg lists a slew of different "Web3 projects," which basically almost all amount to hawking NFT collections. The one exception seems to be the cryptocurrency exchange Okcoin. Zuckerberg joined the company's brand advisory board in December 2021 with an aimto "bring more women into crypto."

So, unsurprisingly there's a financial incentive here to promote crypto. But it's still interesting to see such strong support for a system that completely basks in its commitment to anonymity from Zuckerberg. 

"I think anonymity on the Internet has to go away," Zuckerberg said in 2011 while she was working as Facebook's marketing director. "I think people hide behind anonymity and they feel like they can say whatever they want behind closed doors."

While it's good her views on internet anonymity have evolved, it's unfortunate they did so in order to support an industry where anonymity is key and therefore is rife with grifts and scams.